


Come back to Me

by Meg_Thilbo



Series: All of Us [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternative universe- Bilbo!Skinchanger, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fox!Bilbo, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Literally so much fluff I don't know what's wrong with me, M/M, Repression, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sadness, Softie Thorin, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, depersonalisation, post-BotFA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-07 23:29:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4282083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meg_Thilbo/pseuds/Meg_Thilbo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the battle of five armies, Bilbo flees thinking Thorin doesn't love him anymore. He changes into his other form, allowing his emotions to become suppressed and his instincts to take over. When Thorin wakes, he sets off after Bilbo, wanting to put right the wrongs he'd done in his goldsickness. </p>
<p>Part of a series but can be read as a stand-alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come back to Me

**Author's Note:**

> So here's a sequel to All of Me, I was blown away by the response on that fic and because DragonArmy_TimeGirl requested more, here it is. This is a thank you to everyone who supported my first ever fic by leaving comments, kudos and bookmarks, you're all awesome! :)

Things were so much easier in his other form. When he let his other side take over, his emotions dulled and his instincts took over. He didn’t feel particularly embarrassed or joyful or sad. There was just the thrill of chasing rabbits through the undergrowth, the contentment of taking a nap in the midday sun and the feeling of security as he lay deep in the surrounding bushes where no-one could see him. He enjoyed the feel of soil beneath his paws, the breeze through his fur and his heightened sense of smell which allowed him to truly appreciate the scent of the surrounding wildflowers, smells he’d barely known of his hobbit form.  

 

But more than anything, he didn’t feel pain. He didn’t feel the heartbreak and loss which had wretched at his very soul when Thorin had cast him aside, declaring their relationship to be over and that he’d never be welcome in Erebor again. The other dwarves had not intervened, they’d just let it happen, watching whilst Bilbo’s life was threatened and his body was held over the parapet. It had held a cruel sense of irony that they had been able to accept Bilbo as a skinchanger but had not been able to accept that Bilbo had defied the King by stealing a rock that did nothing but drive them to madness. No, Bilbo couldn’t let himself feel that alone again, it had hurt his hobbit form too much to bear.

 

After the battle, Bilbo had stayed long enough to ensure that Thorin, Fili and Kili would pull through before returning to the surrounding forest. He’d run through the forest, not caring or noticing the branches which cut at his face, blood mixing with his tears as he stripped and allowed himself to change, continuing to run on four legs now instead of two.

 

He couldn’t go back to the Shire. The other hobbits had no doubt sold his belongings by now, thinking him dead. Not that he’d be welcome back, he was now not only a skinchanger but also a skinchanger who had run off with 13 dwarves and a wizard. He had no home, nowhere he now belonged. But that wasn’t true... he had the forest now, this was his home. He was free to roam the surrounding forest, unburdened with the worries which were only important to hobbits and big-folk.

 

Thorin had been the most challenging to get out of his mind. Thoughts of the dwarf had pushed his hobbit mind into his other body with such force and surprise that at times he’d become disorientated, unable to tell what or who he was anymore, shifting between both forms in an uncontrollable cycle. And when he’d come back to himself, he’d always found himself back in his Fox form, his body and mind having retreated to a place where pain could not touch him.

 

Memories had plagued his dreams, every kiss they’d shared, every night they’d slept in each other’s embrace... beautiful memories now tainted with the knowledge that he’d never have that again, never have Thorin look at him like that again with such care and adoration, his heart had swelled by the simple sight of it.

 

Thorin would now become the King he was born to be, not held back by a scandalous relationship with a hobbit skinchanger who had stolen his most prized possession and given it to his enemies. Although he would stay in the surrounding forest, it was unlikely he would ever see the dwarf again. Thorin had never liked forests, especially after their time in Mirkwood.

 

Occasionally he’d hear voices calling his name, but they were just echoes against the sheer volume of noise he heard within the forest- every rustle of leaves, every snap of a twig, the frantic breathing of his prey. He didn’t respond to his name, it had belonged to his other form, not this one. He was not Bilbo anymore, just a fox.

 

* * *

 

 

When Thorin had woken he was confused, not understanding how he’d gotten from Ravenhill to lying in a tent with a very disgruntled wizard bearing down on him. His mind had been cleared of his goldsickness, but it still left him slightly dazed, as though his memories during the sickness were just dreams, sequences of events that he’d seen from outside of his body.

 

But in that instant, all he’d done and said had come crashing down on him, causing him to groan in pain that had nothing to do with the wounds that crossed his chest. Bilbo! He had to tell him that he was sorry, that he still loved him, that he wanted him to stay by his side always.

 

“Bilbo?” Thorin had croaked, his eyes searching the tent for any sign of him, as though he was just hiding under a table, waiting to appear and surprise him.

 

Gandalf had huffed then, fury evident in his eyes, “You sent him away. He was here you know, he watched whilst I healed you and your nephews before he gave you a final kiss goodbye and left.”

 

“Where did he go?” Thorin asked urgently, sitting up in his cot and not noticing the stabs of pain his wounds sent through his body. He had to find him!

 

“I tried to stop him but he’d already changed before I could get to him. He should be in the nearby forest. You need to rest Thorin, your stitches are still at risk of tearing if you go running off after him,” Gandalf explained patiently, not moving from his seat at the edge of the tent.

 

“Do not try to stop me wizard. He’s out there because of me!” Thorin insisted, pointing his finger outside the tent to emphasise his point. “I have to put this right. He could get injured or killed by hunters.”

 

“If you insist I shall not stop you, I too fear for Bilbo’s safety but he would not come when I called for him. But do not expect to find the hobbit you once knew, he has likely retreated deep within himself. At least allow me to bandage your chest, they should be tight enough to prevent your wounds re-opening but do not stress them too much,” Gandalf replied, standing to tend to the dwarf’s wounds.

 

“Fine,” Thorin grunted, eager to get out as soon as possible but he understood Gandalf’s concern. It would not do for him to bleed to death in his search. “What of the others?” he asked whilst Gandalf tightly wound the linen across his chest.

 

“Alive,” Gandalf replied, “Your nephews had the worst of it, after you, but they’re recovering well. They wanted to visit you but their wounds prevented it.”

 

Relief flooded through Thorin’s chest- well at least he hadn’t failed his nephews or the company in leading them to their deaths. He would apologise for his behaviour to them all later, now there was Bilbo to consider.

 

He stood when Gandalf had finished his work, pulling on a fresh tunic and his fur coat. He gave the wizard a final nod before exiting the tent, walking with a slight limp but he didn’t let that impede him, he had to get to the forest and correct the mess he’d made.

 

When he reached the forest and walked along the path, what he noticed first was a piece of clothing snagged on a branch. Bilbo’s shirt? Moving off the path, he followed the trail of broken branches and disturbed bushes, avoiding looking at the blood that clung to the ends of them. He picked up Bilbo’s clothes as he went and his heart sank when he came to end of trail of clothes with no sign of where Bilbo had gone next.

 

“Bilbo?” he called out. He couldn’t stop now, Bilbo could be seriously injured judging by all the blood.

 

He searched the ground for any sign of him. Hope blossomed within him when he saw a fresh trail of paw prints. Fox paw prints!

 

With determination in his step, Thorin pushed onwards, following the trail in hope of finding his loved one.

 

* * *

 

 

Bilbo’s ears pricked at the sound of his name being called. That voice was familiar, stirring up memories he’d suppressed but he pushed them into the back of his mind where they belonged.

 

He heard footsteps and the breaking of braches and twigs coming closer. He tensed, and quickly got to his paws, he had to get out of here before they came, all his instincts told him to run. He shook out his fur before slinking towards the edge of the clearing. Each of his paws was placed with careful precision so as to not disturb a single stone, allowing him to creep silently towards the safety of the tree-line.

 

“Bilbo?” the voice called again. But now the intruder was close behind him and his footsteps had ceased. Against all his instincts, he paused. He should run- he could be in a different part of the forest before the sun had even risen to midday. And yet another part of him told him to wait.

 

He turned to face the intruder. It was a dwarf, his hair dark and streaked with silver and in his arms were bundles of clothes. _His clothes._ But no he didn’t have clothes, foxes didn’t wear clothes. Sniffing the air in front of him, he picked up the smell of blood, this dwarf was injured greatly beneath that large fur coat. Anxiety filled him at the knowledge but why? The dwarf’s concerns didn’t mean anything to him.

 

Lowering his head, he regarded the dwarf in front of him, his ears flattening against his head and fur bristling slightly in his anxiety.

 

The dwarf’s face filled with relief and something else... something he could not quite name. The intruder crouched in front of him, putting the clothes down by his side so that he could hold out his arms, inviting him closer. But he didn’t move, his tail curled beneath his body as he tensed further at the dwarf’s movements.

 

“You have every right to run from me Bilbo; everything I have done and said to you does not allow me to even come close to earning your forgiveness. I’m so sorry Bilbo, for everything, for hurting you when you were just doing what I could not,” the dwarf told him, his voice laced with regret and pain.

 

Bilbo blinked at him, memories stirring again behind his green eyes. A stab of pain lanced through his chest, causing him to whine in pain and he pushed the memories back again, allowing his chest to still once more.

 

“Please come back with me, allow me to put this right. I love you Bilbo, all of you- your wit, your humour, your kind nature. Don’t lose all of what makes you special because I was a mad fool,” the dwarf’s eyes brimming with tears and he pleaded with him.

 

He felt the urge to wipe those tears away, to hug his dwarf and comfort him. But he didn’t have thumbs with which to wipe those tears away or arms with which to hug him. Those belonged to something else... _someone_ else.

 

And as the dwarf’s arms faltered, falling to his sides in defeat when Bilbo refused to come closer to him, a singular memory forced itself to the forefront of Bilbo’s mind. The memory of when he and Thorin had first shared a bedroll, the dwarf had held him, kept him warm and kissed his brow. He’d felt so complete then... could he feel that again? Then more memories flooded forward now that the dam was broken- Thorin kissing him in Beorn’s barn, holding him close against the darkness of Mirkwood, their embrace when they’d reunited in Thranduil’s halls, Thorin carrying him after he’d almost drowned in their escape, Thorin taking him to bed in Lake Town- murmuring sweet promises of love and adoration into his skin as they lay together in the shadow of the mountain; words that no other being would hear because they were meant for him, for Bilbo.

 

He stepped forward before he’s really thought about it. His mind battling between his Fox and Hobbit self, emotions coursing through him in response to each of his memories- there was pain to be sure, but there was also happiness, adoration and love. Now that he felt it, he couldn’t let that go again, a chance of loving and being loved in return.

 

He was running now- focussed on the destination of Thorin’s arms. Thorin had looked up when he’d heard him move, his face hopeful and breaking into a watery smile when Bilbo had begun running towards him. Thorin opened his arms once more to allow Bilbo to leap into his arms who pressed his face against the dwarf’s chest as Thorin wrapped his arms around him, holding him close as his tears finally broke free, running into Bilbo’s fur.

 

They stayed like that for a long time, neither one willing to move in fear of losing each other again. Bilbo slowly came back to himself, his memory completing and emotions falling back into order. He wasn’t sure when he returned to his hobbit form, he didn’t really think about it, he just allowed his body to return to its preferred state. After all, he couldn’t kiss Thorin as a fox.

 

Not caring that he was currently nude, sitting on Thorin’s lap, he pulled out of the embrace slightly to press his forehead against the dwarf’s, cradling Thorin’s cheeks between his hands. Thorin’s hands came to rest on his hips, his thumbs caressing his skin gently.

 

“There is nothing to forgive you sappy old dwarf. I love you, that will never change, even if you’re the most stubborn, pig-headed dwarf that ever existed,” Bilbo teased. Thorin half laughed and half gasped at his words, his Adams-apple bobbing his throat, too overcome with emotion to reply.

 

He allowed himself one last look at Thorin’s deep blue eyes before allowing his own to slip close, tilting his head to kiss Thorin’s lips, the saltiness of his tears seeping into Bilbo’s mouth. But that just spurred Bilbo on, the kiss deepening so as to kiss away all traces of Thorin’s tears as well as his own that had spilled as soon as he’d changed back. And Thorin responded in kind, kissing him back with equal fervour, his hands squeezing his hips gently. Bilbo tangled his hands in Thorin’s hair, pressing ever closer. He never wanted to be apart from Thorin again, never wanted to lose the part of him which needed this.

 

But like all things, he couldn’t sit in this clearing and kiss Thorin forever, although he desperately wanted to. Pulling away for air, he pressed his forehead back against Thorin’s, needing as much contact as he was able.

 

“Your wounds need tending to. You were an idiot enough risking them to come out here,” Bilbo chastised with no real malice.

 

“I couldn’t leave you out here with you thinking I didn’t love you anymore. I’ve nearly lost you so many times on this quest, leading you into such peril, I can’t lose you because I was blinded by gold and greed. If more people valued home above gold, as you do, the world would be a merrier place,” Thorin said, his voice breaking slightly from his crying.

 

“And I am proud to have shared in your perils, each and every one of them. It is far more than any Baggins deserves. But sad or merry, we need to get you back to Gandalf before the wizard sets his beard on fire in worry.”

 

“Will you come back with me?” Thorin asked in worry, his insecurity seeping into his tone.

 

Bilbo snorted, “No I quite like it here, I think I’ll just kiss you then go back to my hunting,” he mocked, but then he kissed Thorin on his nose and added when he looked horrified, not catching onto the joke, “Of course I’ll come back with you, you great lump. I’m not letting you out of my sight again. Now give me those clothes back, I know you dwarves don’t care about nudity but I think I’d give Thranduil and his Elves a heart attack.”

 

Thorin’s expression cleared into relief once more, “Now you’re just tempting me to steal your clothes,” he said, grinning wickedly.

 

“You do that and I’ll have to change again which will stop me from giving you all those kisses I have planned,” Bilbo teased.

 

Thorin hummed thoughtfully, “Well you win as always Master Baggins.”

 

“Of course I do, someone’s got to put you in your place,” Bilbo laughed, extracting himself from Thorin’s hold to slip his clothes back on. “But first you’re having a bath, you stink worse than I do and I’ve been living in a forest for days.”

 

Thorin just laughed, a deep booming laugh which echoed around the forest and warmed Bilbo’s heart. No, Bilbo thought, his other form couldn’t compare to this. He knew he would experience pain again in the future, everyone did, but pain was temporary, what he had with Thorin would never fade, of that he was sure.

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when I listen to Pale by Within Temptation whilst writing, I end up writing fluffy and sappy nonsense. I had this idea floating in my head for a while but I was focused so much on my other fics to continue this AU. 
> 
> As regards this AU, I will return to it intermittently, I just have so much to write at the moment haha This is all that's getting me through the wait from A-levels to Uni. 
> 
> If you want to see more from this AU, let me know as well as what you thought of this episode. If you have any requests of parts of the quest you'd like to see or any ideas for this AU, at any point along the timeline and POV, do let me know. It may take me a while to fill them, I'm probably going to finish Black Roses before I come back to this series because I've also got PYPDW to write as well. 
> 
> Again, thank you all for supporting me, your comments make me laugh and smile! Kudos to you all!
> 
> May your day be filled with Majesticness!


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